My Beloved Priorities
You can listen to my reading of this little post here:
The months of September and October are always challenging for me. There are lots of activities. I hate activities. I love my kids. So I love going to their soccer games. But they exhaust me. And I love the many homeschool communities in which we participate, with beautiful and inspiring friends. But when I get home, I’m a bitch. It’s the curse of the introvert. The homeschooling introvert.
Or maybe I’m simply deficient in kidney chi. All activity drains kidney chi. That is, at least, what an herbalist told me at an herb conference I attended last year. She also told me bone broth nourishes kidney chi. So I’ve wondered if I should bone up on the bone broth, to shore up my limping chi. But that would require actually making bone broth, which is an activity, and since my energy is tied up in other activities, I decide to pass on making bone broth. Maybe I’m just lazy.
Really, what I am is a lover of solitude. I’m an INFP, after all, and as such I need so much solitary time that my number one career choice was hermit, deep in the woods. I missed the opportunity for that career path, for which I am immeasurably thankful, because that would have meant doing things like chopping wood and eating rabbits. Also, I would not have my family if I had taken that career path, and I love my family passionately and dearly. So much so that I chose to homeschool my kids. Which has been awesome. Except for all the activity in September and October.
And this is where I should discuss some of my strategies for regaining my energy, or managing the tasks of homeschooling while also taking care of myself. Only, I’m tired of even trying to do that. Like getting up early so I can have some studio time. Bah. Good luck with that. Or I could talk about priorities. Mine are like this:
- Creative Life.
It’s pretty straightforward (see photo). Only if Kids eat up all the kidney chi then Marriage and/or Creative Life begin to stumble about and knock things over. And then things can get gnarly. (Also, I get the whole idea that one’s marriage should come before one’s kids. Because your partner is there for life, and your kids will fledge. But my marriage is thankfully healthy, and obviously takes less time and energy than my kids. So we can discuss the finer details of this, but I think I’m just being honest about responsibility and time commitments here. Though a date night would be nice).
For the past two days I’ve just limped about hanging up laundry and washing dishes. Also I played a lot of piano and a lot of Tetris. And today I’m feeling like I might do something. Something creative. Something quiet. Something deliciously solitary and wholly for myself.